The Life and Death of it All

Recently, I was with an international pastor friend of mine. He told me an interesting story that had a powerful life principle buried under the details. He’d been asked if he would officiate the wedding ceremony for a new couple in his area, so he wanted to meet with the couple first.


The couple arrived and told him how they met and how they planned on living their life out together. Then my friend asked if either of them had ever been married before and the man said, “Yes”. My friend asked him how long he had been divorced. He responded, “two weeks”. To which my friend replied, “No. I won’t marry you. This marriage is doomed to fail. It has no chance of being successful so I don’t think this would be a good use of my time”.


The couple was scandalized — literally in shock. They asked him, “How can you say our marriage will not make it when you don’t even know us”? My friend replied, “It is nothing personal. It is just that anything that has died, if not healed and grieved, will live again. He hasn’t had a chance to heal and learn from his last marriage so that dead marriage is going to live again through this one”.


There is a ministry called Divorce Care that helps people process through the pain of a divorce. They recommend a divorced person take one year to heal for every four years they were married. They believe they need this time to process who they are IN THIS SEASON of their life.


Whether through marriage, our blood family, or dear friends, people have a tremendous influence on how we see ourselves. When they are torn from our lives through death or distance, it has a profound impact on us.


I used this little lesson to look at my life and see if I have fully processed the loss of important people in my life. I hope you will do the same. For more on this subject visit

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