SLOW Reps are Better Than NO Reps

She was screaming at me, barking out orders and calling me out by name, in front of everyone! This is not my normal and it messed with me.

Ok, it was at the gym and she was a trainer.

Though I have been going to this gym for a couple of years, I am not as consistent as I would like to be, but I am making progress. I’ve lost some weight, put on some muscle, and my cardio is better. On top of all of that, I enjoy going to the gym.

When working out, I generally choose a high impact interval training class by myself, or I work out on weights and the treadmill with my wife. I like doing both. It just depends on the circumstances. On this day, I decided to take the H.I.I.T class, which had 19 people in it. I was talking to a friend during warm ups and assumed we might end up as partners for the class. Just as it was time to grab a partner one of the trainers grabbed my friend. I was a free agent. Jess locked eyes with me, grinned wide, and pointed, “I want you, Nick”. Now you need to understand, Jess is a beast, one of the trainers at the gym that works out for hours at a time.

The workout that day went only two rounds. The only reason I’m still alive. Between each round there is a one-minute break. I have a difficult decision to make. Do I get a drink of water or do I breathe? You can’t do both. I choose to breathe. We start the second round and I am dying half way through—barely getting reps in while Jess is going strong, like the energizer bunny. She screams for me to give her more reps. By now everyone knows my name. Then she delivers the line I needed to hear. “Slow reps are better than no reps, Nick! Give me another rep.”

That’s one of the keys to life, right? We all know it. I don’t feel motivated today? So, give me one slow rep, no reps are not an option. Feeling depressed or discouraged? Call a friend or take a walk. You’re hurried and can’t get in a full day’s work or write a whole chapter? Read something inspiring.

Slow reps are better than no reps. Thanks, Jess. Words to live by.

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The Paradox of Parenting

Paradox – A proposition that seems self-contradictory but in fact expresses a potential truth.

Yes, parents should know better. They have more life experience, maturity and resources than their children. They are the ones that must take everything they know and submit it to the greater cause of raising great young men and women so they can become productive citizens of society.

Recently, I spoke on three important parental focuses. The response to that message mandated I write this blog.

Here is my Big 3 when it comes to parenting:

  • Show your child unconditional love (which builds worth and value)
  • Help your child discover their unique difference (this develops identity).
  • Let them make low-level mistakes while still in your house (this molds maturity and confidence).

If every child experienced unconditional love, had someone reflect back to them their unique brilliance, and gave them a safe place to take risk and test their mettle, the world would be a wide and spacious place of creativity and productivity. Healthy people would be connecting with other healthy people in healthy relationships. Sounds like societal bliss, doesn’t it?

Yet, the greatest challenge to this type of success is the parent. The parent has to discipline himself/herself not to bulldoze forward, parenting in a style that maximizes their own strengths, willing to adjust their style of parenting to maximize the impact it will have on each individual child. If you have three children, you may have to offer correction, affirmation and instruction differently. If not, one child will thrive and another child will wither

The paradox of parenting is while the parent has all the experience, wisdom and maturity, they have to let the child take the lead in their own development and support them in a way that they feel it.

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The Smudge of Shame

Have you ever spilled something on your shirt? Sure. We all have. It is frustrating when dressed for an important occasion; we spill something on our pants or shirt that ruins the look. If the spill is bad enough it can permanently destroy our clothes and ruin our day.

Now most of us, upon realizing we had just spilled something on ourselves, would immediately attempt to keep the spill from becoming a stain. I have never been successful at this, but my wife, Tina, is. She has a college degree in clothing, textiles and merchandising, and understands fabric at a level comparable to a nuclear physicist understanding atoms. She can get any stain out of any fabric. Whenever I try to keep a spill from becoming a stain, I accidently create a smudge. A smudge is when you smear the spill around and make it bigger, deeper ingrained in the fabric and harder to remove.

The problem with a smudge is people can see I am clumsy and spilled something on myself, but also that I can’t clean up my own mess. Now imagine having to walk around all day wearing the clothes with a visible smudge on them. You might feel a little embarrassed or feel shame.

Sin—our deliberate wrong choice—is an event that leaves a mark on our soul. Though guilt is the conviction we did something wrong, shame tells us there is something wrong with us. I have heard that sentiment rebutted by this powerful statement: “Failure is an event, not a person.”

When we feel like we are the mess, we try to clean up the mess. However, we only smear around our mistake and create the “smudge of shame” we can’t help but see and other people do as well.

The good news is; Jesus died on the cross to deal with our sin and the “smudge of shame”. He, and He alone, has the power to permanently remove the spill (sin) and the stain (shame) that comes with it. Look at this powerful truth found in Isaiah 1: 18:

“Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool. NKJV

God has already provided for any mess you will make. When we sin, the best thing we can do is run to the loving Father, who accepts us where we are, and for who we are, and quickly moves to remove the stain permanently so shame doesn’t set in. That is my Papa. I hope you know Him and of His great love for you.

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Synergy – that extra something

A few weeks ago I wrote about personal energy and explained why I believe energy is more important than time or money. Then I asked if you were aware of the energy level you function at, and if you knew what energizes or drains you? Today, I want to talk about something closely related to personal energy, a phenomenon that is out of this world.

If you care about maximizing your energy, I’d like to challenge you to consciously consider synergy. What is synergy you ask? It is the interaction of two elements that results in a sum that is bigger than the parts. Imagine that! You add one element to a second element and you get MORE than the two elements alone. Now that gets my attention. If I care passionately about maximizing my personal energy levels, this amplification or multiplication takes my excitement to a whole new level.

The best example I have to explain synergy is water (H2O). You take two atoms of Hydrogen, share their outer electrons with one atom of Oxygen, and you get water. Water is essential for life. We need water. Nor, can I imagine our world without its beautiful streams, rivers, lakes and oceans. Water is amazing and yet is the simple synergy between Hydrogen and Oxygen. Water is the sum result or reward of Hydrogen and Oxygen working together. Notice that neither loses its own identity or autonomy. They just willingly partner together and a mysterious third element becomes a part of their relationship.

I have come to the conclusion, if I want to succeed in a new project or program; I need to find a partner that can join their unique abilities with mine. When we partner with someone for a common goal, the result of our time and activity is maximum production without losing anything of ourselves. Together we produce something that is bigger than just our two parts.

Synergy is a powerful reality that supersedes everyday excellence. For more on this subject visit






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If only we knew the REST of the STORY

My favorite radio program of all time was Paul Harvey, and his ‘Rest of the Story’ segments. It started during WWII as a news broadcast that also told an interesting story. He would withhold a key piece of information, such as the person’s identity, until the end and then conclude the broadcast with the famous tagline, ”….and now you know the rest of the story.”

We deal with difficult people everyday. But, most of the time we are only dealing with the part of their story they let us see. Wouldn’t it be nice to know the rest of the story? Wouldn’t it be nice to know what made them mad earlier in the day, before they got to us?

There is a story in the Bible, found in Numbers 20: 2-12, when the people complained to Moses about not having any water. God tells Moses to speak to the rock and God would cause water to come out of the rock and thus He would take care of the people. Moses responds to their complaint with anger and strikes the rock, disobeying what God had told him to do. God was faithful to bring the water but He told Moses that He would not enter the promise land because of what he did.

Every time I have ever heard this passage preached, the speaker says that God punished Moses for his disobedience. But, recently I heard a minister by the name of Dwayne Weehunt, from Keller, Texas, approach this story a little differently.

He said that God and Moses were friends. God spoke to His friend face to face, unlike anyone God ever related to. God said Moses was the most humble man alive. Dwayne then went on to say, “Have you ever noticed that this story picks up in verse two of the chapter, not verse one?” Could verse one have any impact on this story? Well, let’s look at verse one:

Numbers 20: 1 Then the children of Israel, the whole congregation, came into the Wilderness of Zin in the first month, and the people stayed in Kadesh; and Miriam died there and was buried there.

Moses sister just died. He doesn’t have time to grieve her and the people are complaining about water. Is it possible that Moses was not disobedient out of anger but out of grief? And, isn’t it possible that God was not punishing Moses because of disobedience, but was pulling him out of leadership (ministry) because he didn’t like the toll it was taking on His friend Moses. Could it be that God hated what was happening to His friend and couldn’t stand the destruction of his heart? And, now you might know… the rest of the story.

You can’t help but look at the story differently after you’ve read verse one. Everybody has a verse one. If we kept that in mind, maybe we would all show a little more grace with people’s bad behavior and a lot more interest in knowing the rest of their story. For more on this subject go to


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Gateway to God

Recently I was reading “The Nature of God” by Graham Cooke. He made a very interesting statement that I wish all believers were aware of. He said, “But there is one aspect of His character that He will want to be yours in particular. This is your doorway into His presence. I love the compassion, mercy, integrity and grace of God – but my access point to Him is always His kindness.”

When I read that I thought of several attributes of God that woo me or draw me into His presence. After much reflection, I have decided it is His mercy that is my gateway to God.

I have heard mercy and grace defined this way. Grace is getting what you did not deserve (undeserved favor) and mercy is NOT getting what you deserve. Mercy is when you are guilty but He chooses to throw your case out of court.

I have known Him to show unbelievable mercy to myself and others expecting to be crushed under the judgment of an angry God. So many people run away from God when they have sinned or done something wrong. They know and understand the high expectations of God’s holiness. When they fail to measure up to that, they tend to hide, flinch or run away.

The other day I was talking to an intercessor that spends hours a day alone with the Lord. I asked her, “Do you ever pray for God’s judgment upon your life”? She said, “Sure, there is nothing to fear in His judgment.” Spoken like someone who really knows God and His heart.

When a judge rules on a case, it can go one of four ways.

She or he may find someone innocent.
They may discover a technicality that allows them to dismiss the case.
They can also find you guilty but lessen the sentence.
Or, they can throw the book at you.

Three out of the four outcomes are good—if you’re the guilty party.

I have found God chooses to be merciful in almost all cases and loves to show His love off by surprising us with His mercy. Whenever I experience that or see it displayed in the life of others, it immediately draws me into the presence of God. For more on this subject visit:




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What Energizes You?

In my opinion, time is more valuable than money and energy is more valuable than time. You can have all the money in the world but when you run out of time, it is over. You can have all the time in the world but if you don’t have any energy, your time is meaningless.

Benjamin Franklin is quoted as saying, “Energy and persistence conquer all things”. According to the dictionary, energy is ‘power that when exerted creates activity’. Energy is a latent reservoir of power that when released allows for vigorous activity to take place. Energy funds activity. That is why I believe energy is more important than time, because you need it to make your time worthwhile.

I am fascinated by personal energy. I pay attention to the people that seem to have an unlimited supply and I also pay attention to those that seem to barely get by on the supply they have. Have you noticed some people can energize the whole place, while others seem to conserve what energy they have as if they might run out at anytime? Then there are those that through personal drama, need or awkward moments suck the energy right out of a room.

I ask myself questions about energy all the time and these are a few things I have learned:

Personal energy comes from internal and external sources.
We all have the same amount of energy available to us
It is possible to get more energy.

The classic definition of what makes a person an introvert or extrovert is how they recharge their battery. Introverts tend to want to be alone for extended periods of time to let their reservoir increase. Extroverts need interaction with people to recharge.

This definition is a little too cut and dry for me. As an extrovert, I do recharge by being with people. But, it has to be the right people. Some people drain me. I take quick note as to whether someone “lifes” me or “sucks the life” out of me.

I firmly believe we are responsible for maintaining our own energy levels. And, there are many factors to consider while doing that. Sleep, diet, exercise, stress, responsibilities and relationship all have an impact on our personal energy levels. I challenge you to raise your awareness of this area, increase your energy level and see if the quality of your life doesn’t increase as well. For more on this subject, please visit




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Does God Talk to Himself?

Does God talk to Himself? And, if he does, what does He talk about? Believe it or not, the Bible clearly shows us that, yes, God does talk to Himself. God talks to Himself about…us…His…KIDS!

There may be more, but I found three examples, where God the Father, Jesus, the Son, and the Holy Spirit are talking and interacting with each other.

Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” Genesis 1:26 NKJV

“Let US make man in OUR image”. The Godhead, Three-in-One, consulted each other and came into unity concerning their children.

When their children decided to build a tower to the heavens and cause themselves some serious problems, the Godhead once again consulted each other and came into agreement about how to protect their children from themselves.

“Come, let Us go down and there confuse their language, that they may not understand one another’s speech.” Genesis 11: 7 NKJV

Finally, Jesus (God the Son) is praying to God the Father, when God, (the Holy Spirit), descends upon Jesus.

 When all the people were being baptized, Jesus was baptized too. And as he was praying, heaven was opened 22 and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” Luke 3: 21-22 NKJV

God, the Father spoke to Jesus saying He is His son and He is well pleased with Him. This is the moment Jesus begins His ministry to redeem the children they all love.

God uses words to communicate His heart and to come into agreement with Himself before doing anything. Wouldn’t we be wise to listen to His voice and come into agreement with Him before we make any decisions?

God speaks to Himself. I bet those are some amazing conversations! For more on this subject visit

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The Life and Death of it All

Recently, I was with an international pastor friend of mine. He told me an interesting story that had a powerful life principle buried under the details. He’d been asked if he would officiate the wedding ceremony for a new couple in his area, so he wanted to meet with the couple first.


The couple arrived and told him how they met and how they planned on living their life out together. Then my friend asked if either of them had ever been married before and the man said, “Yes”. My friend asked him how long he had been divorced. He responded, “two weeks”. To which my friend replied, “No. I won’t marry you. This marriage is doomed to fail. It has no chance of being successful so I don’t think this would be a good use of my time”.


The couple was scandalized — literally in shock. They asked him, “How can you say our marriage will not make it when you don’t even know us”? My friend replied, “It is nothing personal. It is just that anything that has died, if not healed and grieved, will live again. He hasn’t had a chance to heal and learn from his last marriage so that dead marriage is going to live again through this one”.


There is a ministry called Divorce Care that helps people process through the pain of a divorce. They recommend a divorced person take one year to heal for every four years they were married. They believe they need this time to process who they are IN THIS SEASON of their life.


Whether through marriage, our blood family, or dear friends, people have a tremendous influence on how we see ourselves. When they are torn from our lives through death or distance, it has a profound impact on us.


I used this little lesson to look at my life and see if I have fully processed the loss of important people in my life. I hope you will do the same. For more on this subject visit

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Who are You Willing to Die For?

One morning as I was preparing to preach a message on love, a thought went through my mind. You won’t die for someone that you wouldn’t be willing to live with. Wow. That was a simple litmus test for me. How many people would I be willing to move into my house and share the most intimate details of my life with? I have to admit, at this time in my journey, not many.


How many people on this planet would you be willing to live with? That is a huge question. Some of the most selfless people I know open their home to children who have no home or family through fostering or adoption. But, they are the exception, not the rule.


But, look at Jesus. He lived with the twelve and I would even propose that Jesus, who kept no permanent home, lived among ALL the people He would willingly die for. By sharing His life with them and in turn partaking of their daily life, the love between them grew to such a level that Jesus was willing to give up all he had for them. And in turn, all the disciples (even Judas) ended up dying in one manner or another on behalf of the Savior.


I want to be a person doesn’t watch life from the sidelines or taste a version of the original. I want to drain every drop from the fruit of this life…and that includes the joy of sacrificing on behalf of those I have grown to love. Love isn’t really love, unless it is shared with someone else. So, I am on a journey to find those who I can do life with, then live life with, and then lose my life with.

A Romantic notion? Maybe. Utopian? Maybe. But, something at my core tells me that this is what God meant when he said:


John 15: 12-13 This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. NKJV


I challenge all of us to start with being authentic, identifying those that we love and purposefully choosing to live in daily communion with them as much as we are able. I don’t think it will just be rewarding, I think it is godly. For more on this subject please visit





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