How Healthy are the Bones of Your Relationships?

In an effort to honor a deal I made with God to help others by being transparent with both my successes and failures, I am sharing a concept I learned from my good friend Steve Sawyer. It is out of Ezekiel 37 and it is God’s process to bring something to life or to rebirth something dead. I won’t share the whole concept here. I just want to share one small revelation. Before I do though, I have threatened Steve and am doing it again here, if he doesn’t write a book about this whole revelation, I will!


We all have bone, tendons and muscle. While they serve specific functions, let’s look at these in a spiritual sense.


Bones represent our systems, structures, rules, laws and boundaries. They are the firm things in life that everything else hangs on.


Muscle is the engine that turns energy into motion. It is the unique genius in each one of us. It is that thing that we do gracefully and better than others. It is our anointing, calling and passion. When our muscle contracts (it always pulls, it never pushes), it pulls on the tendon, which pulls on the bones and our whole body begins to move.


Tendons are our relationships. It is our connectivity. Without tendons, muscles can contract all they like and there will be no movement of our bones. It is vital we walk in healthy relationships to move towards our destiny and goals.??


Until recently, I didn’t make a connection to my growing up without the normal relationships of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, and my learning to manage life through mostly surface relationships.
Because God has made me a very passionate, decisive and a visionary person, I tend to lead many endeavors. But, because of my lack of tendons (relational quotient), people who have partnered with me, have sometimes felt one of two extremes. They either felt like a cog in the machine (bones or boney), where they experienced the very sterile side of being in a system. Or, they have felt manipulated, used or “pulled on” by the muscle side of my gifting. And let’s be frank, who wants to feel manipulated or part of a machine?


I regret that people have experienced these two extremes with me and have spent a good amount of time trying to redeem these seasons and restore my relationships.  Machine or manipulated, it wasn’t maliciousness on my part, but stemmed from my lack. I’ve resolved what I can, and now desire to relate and connect with others…not solely for the purpose of motion, but just to connect.


For more information on the beauty of bones, tendons, and connectivity, go to


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